Thursday, July 31

Trades 7/31 (Thurs)


GC 5min
I was telling D yesterday that my charts were all acting weird the whole day, and I felt pressured to get out of a trade that was going my way too fast shortly after GC and the FX markets opened. It was then that D told me it was crazy FOMC day. 

History taught me post-FOMC is not much fun either, and I would be better off staying out during the Asia and Europe sessions. But I traded anyway. It was a bad decision, and I needed my last trade to work to end the day blue. My focus was no longer on my target, and that had cost me a few points. That said, I am glad that I didn't give chase. A Chinese saying reminds me that if I get greedy, I could end up very poor.  

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Trades 7/30 (Wed)


GC 5min

CL 5min
AUD 5min

I think I am going through mid-life crisis. 

Nothing makes me happy. 

I kept thinking that if only we could move back to our previous apartment once the tenants are out a year from now, that might make me happy.

Or if D would ask successfully for a permanent posting to Hong Kong or Canada where all our friends are, that would definitely make me very, very happy.

Or if I had a baby, or a normal job outside of home, I just might be too occupied to think about whether I am happy...

All said, I don't think I am programmed to be happy, whatever "happy" means.

"Busy" is good enough for me for now.

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Wednesday, July 30

Trades 7/28 and 7/29


Exactly 6 months after D's mother flew home to LA for good, life is finally starting to feel like the one I had before hell broke lose in June 2012 with her touching down in Singapore.

In the time that her ladyship was here, I lost two of the things I love the most in my entire life, turned vegan, and nearly went bonkers.

I quit vegan-ism early this month after nearly dying from malnutrition, managed to put back some weight, and am starting to look like myself again.

Luke has been with us for more than 2 months now. I haven't a clue what he will grow up to be like, and that's a first for me. He is turning out to be the most affectionate cat I've ever had, and I'm so glad I brought him home. 

I am making my best effort to be at peace with Keish and Alberto's leaving me before I was ready to say good-bye.

Everything in His time.


 
Trades
I closed my 6A short (entered in February this year) last week, took a loss of more than USD 3000, and slept well for the first time in months.

My first day-trades since February:

CL 5min

GC 5min

@ Aaron: yes, you can send me a private mail at julianatse@gmail.com.

@ Lonely: a girl is allowed to whine :-P
I'm a Christian. Thought you knew?

@ Sean: Thank you for the touching note.
You asked:
--if I ignore news
Yes, I ignore news altogether. 
--if I base my judgment on certain candle patterns
Not entirely, since specific patterns don't "work on" all symbols and across all time-frames. For intraday charts, I find candlestick patterns frequently unreliable. That said, I have always used only candles (I am not able to read bar charts).
--if I watch several symbols, and wait patiently for a good setup in one, rather than just focusing on one thing every day
Yes, I watch up to 5 symbols at most, and wait IMpatiently for my preferred setup to show :-)
--if you should come to Singapore to look for Mr. Michael Woo
I am not sure that you will find Mr Woo. He has not been responding even to my texts and I am actually starting to get really worried about him.
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Friday, June 20

No Light at the End of the Tunnel


I re-homed Rob. 

Well, his foster did. 

It's for the best. 

Ali seems cool and calm again, Al and Luke seem to have become best buddies, and Cass seems sociable, playful and sweet again. D no longer had to break up fights in the middle of his conference calls, and is now able to allocate some time in the evening to play with Ali (D is Ali's favorite human).

But I am heartbroken. 

Rob has always been more like a puppy than a cat, following me around the house, talked and argued with me, and invited me to play just about any game he could think of all the time. He always ate whatever I gave him with much enthusiasm, which heartens me because it takes so much time and effort to plan and prepare their meals. 

Unfortunately, Rob is also a daredevil and headstrong kitten, whose energy level and playfulness overwhelmed my low-energy and no-nonsense girls, who accept an equally playful Luke only because he respects their boundaries. 

I still smell Rob in every corner of the house everyday, and think about how he is settling in his new home. It doesn't help that his new guardian works full-time away from home and has been unable to properly observe his interaction with her other cats to give me any useful information. 

Rob's foster has asked for my patience, and that we allow Rob a little more time to adapt to his new environment. 

It doesn't sound good to me.  

But I am starting to feel a little numb about losing cats. I used to be really afraid of losing Alberto, and wondered how I would live without him. And then all of a sudden, Alberto was gone. And life went on.  It had to; I couldn't afford time for grief. 

The period spanning 2012 and 2014 has seen me losing more than cats; I lost my entire family, immediate and extended, something I saw coming for allowing myself to fail catastrophically as an eldest sister, a daughter, a niece and a mother. 

D has been patient throughout, although I have spared no effort in pushing him away as well. I have always found it humiliating to keep those who don't love me in my life. I never thought I would say this, but I realize that no one loves me, and I love no one.

These days, only the twins, my dark and puckish but terribly adorable and loving nieces write/ text bomb me every few days, and visit from time to time. They turn 11 this year, and are still amused they have a cousin who is a Canadian residing in Hong Kong, and who has graduated from university while their friends have cousins who are little kids in elementary school. They met Celeste for the first time last year, or maybe the year before, and they got to meet Celeste's fiance during that trip. They have not asked me a single question about Celeste after they came home. Their diplomacy impressed me. These were the same kids who, out of curiosity about what people do with their pets after they passed on, asked me if I simply threw Alberto down the rubbish chute, and insisted on peeking into Alberto's urn.

I am still sitting on my 6A short. I had a chance to bail during contract rollover, but I didn't. Sitting has become a comfortable thing to do. 




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